Why Chaz Bono is important

If you pay attention to mainstream media, it's pretty much impossible these days to avoid stories about Chaz Bono.  The transgender son of Sonny Bono and Cher has been everywhere - a book, a documentary on Oprah's network, talk shows, tabloids and recently the volume of noise about Chaz got turned way up when it was announced that he was joining the cast of Dancing With The Stars on ABC.  Of course this had to happen eventually, transgender people, long the butt of jokes and ridicule have been making strides towards visibility and acceptance and it was only a matter of time before a celebrity (or in this case, more like the child of two celebrities) transitioned in the public eye and brought the spotlight to the transgender community.  The reaction to Chaz has not all been positive to say the least, but he has also received a tremendous outpouring of support as people start to view him as the confident, happy man that he is and see that transitioning clearly has improved his quality of life, not diminished it.
Last night Chaz was voted off Dancing With The Stars after 6 weeks of the competition, a very worthy showing.  Addressing the audience after learning he was eliminated, he had this to say:

"I came on this show because I wanted to show America a different kind of man, and I know that if there was someone like me on TV when I was growing up, my whole life would have been different," he continued. "I dedicate everything I did to all the people out there like me -- especially the kids and teens who are struggling. You can have a wonderful, great life and be successful and happy."

And this is why Chaz Bono, who is just one of many trans people, matters right now.  Because by doing nothing else than refusing to stay silent and out of the spotlight, he has given a voice to many who did not have one before and provided a visible example of the normality of trans people.  He is just a guy, who had a different path to manhood than some, living his life and showing that there is a possibility of a happy, well-adjusted existence after transition.  He doesn't have to make big statements, he doesn't have to say all the right things, by simply existing and putting himself out there he is showing people, especially young people, that it's okay to be who you are.

This is a message that is needed in this country now more than ever. 

A survey published earlier in 2011 by the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force titled "Injustice at Every Turn" showed some startling statistics about the transgender population in the United States.

• 41% of the respondents reported attempting suicide, in contrast to the national average of 1.6%
• Transgender people are unemployed at double the national average
• 26% reported losing a job due to their status as transgendered, 50% reported workplace harrassment due to their gender identity or expression - at the same time, even when suffering harrassment 78% reported feeling more comfortable and confident at work and their job performance improved after undergoing transition
• 57% reported significant family rejection
• 46% reported being unlikely to to seek police assistance when needed due to harrassment
• 53% reported suffering some form of harrassment trying to access public services such as bathrooms, restaurants, hotels, etc.

These statistics may sound startling to you, and I hope they do actually.  I hope that you are someone who does not experience this or watch someone you love go through the world experiencing this type of discrimination.  But for many people, these statistics told the story that they already know all too well - that while gays and lesbians are making strides in acceptance, legal protection and recognition of their relationships, the trans folks are being left behind a movement that they helped begin. 

Where I live, in DC, there have been multiple shootings and deaths involving trans identified individuals this summer.  The police have been accused of being slow to act and not doing enough to find those responsible, in one incident the perpetrator was an off-duty DC police officer who witnesses say jumped on the hood of a car containing two transgender women and their friends and said "I'm gonna kill you" before firing his gun at them.  This might seem like an extreme case, but every day there are incidents of trans people being kicked out of bathrooms for not appearing "female" or "male" enough to use a public bathroom, trans people denied employment or being harrassed by authorities for not having ID documents that match their appearance and preferred name, trans people being denied housing or admittance to a shelter because their existance makes someone uncomfortable, and many more examples of discrimination.  In the United States, only 13 states and the District of Columbia have laws that prohibit discrimination on the basis of gender identity or expression.  That leaves many places where trans people have no recourse when denied basic needs such as housing, employment, or a safe place to use the bathroom.

My personal reaction to Chaz has surprised me.  I didn't expect to feel emotional about it, I didn't expect to feel as invested as I have in him competing on a silly dancing television show.  But I found myself mesmerized watching the first episode, voting as many times as I could for him to stay on, and watching every week to see how he does.  Last night when he was eliminated I was emotional again hearing him say how his life would have been different if he could have seen someone like him on television when he was younger.  I was emotional because until I saw it, I never realized the sheer impact of seeing someone like Chaz on national television, not being studied on a talk show or the butt of jokes on a sitcom, but dancing alongside everyone else, could do for someone.  It was something I didn't realize was lacking until I saw it and realized that it had never happened before.  I was emotional because I can relate all too well to this and seeing him on television inspired me to do something I thought I would never do - come out as a transsexual.

Yes, I am a successful guy in my 30's with a loving girlfriend, great career, a happy and comfortable life and 10 years ago I went through a medical transition from female-to-male.  If you've met me or come to know me online anytime in the past few years, chances are pretty high that you didn't know this about me.  I don't talk about it with those who I know don't know, it's not a subject that just comes up usually, there is no logical segue into "hey, so I had a sex change" in most conversations.  It's not something I've put a lot of effort into hiding, it's just something that most people wouldn't have any way of knowing and for the most part, and I've liked it that way.  The point of going through transition was to get to this other side, a place where my gender is not an issue, where I'm seen exactly as the man I am without question.  But lately this place has felt less and less comfortable as I see the statistics of injustice suffered by trans people and the alarming amount of youth taking their own lives before they have a chance to know how it doesn't always have to be an issue.  I feel, much like Chaz talked about, that I can be a positive example of someone who made it through this process and is living a happy and productive life.

I don't feel tortured, conflicted, or in turmoil.  I'm not constantly worried about my safety or discrimination - although there are definitely times when I still need to be.  I feel very lucky and very priviledged to be at this point in my life, and I feel like I am in a position to create change simply by being who I am.  By letting people get to know me, see how I'm not different than them, how it is possible that you know others just like me who you would have no clue had ever been any different.  At different points in my life, I have had shame and fear about people finding out and looking at me differently or rejecting me.  Writing this now, I have a fair amount of that fear, but I also know that I've been through a lot of hard things in my life and come out okay so if I lose a few people who can't deal with this I know I will still be okay.  I have an amazing family who have shown love and support to me my whole life, caring and loving friends who have always had my back and the love of my girlfriend who supports me in everything I do.  I'm very blessed to have the life that I do and I don't want to have to worry about hiding anything from anyone.  I'm proud of what I've been through, of the man that I have become and how I got here and I want to work tirelessly to give everyone who struggles with who they are the same opportunities and support that I have had to succeed.  To borrow an overused and slightly imperfect phrase, it gets better.  But we all have to make it better and build a world where there is room for everyone to be who they are.

Thanks Chaz, for putting yourself out there and pushing me to be a better person.